My Autism Insights

image from Jannagraphics

“I am a leaf on the wind…watch me soar.”

Serenity, spoken by Wash…moments before he is skewered by flying debris.

That is one of my favorite lines from the Firefly universe and it creates such a lovely image for me.  Can’t you just picture a bright orange autumn leaf floating gently down from a tree branch, cradled and rocked by a light, crisp breeze?  It reaches the ground so peacefully…all is right with the world on this fine autumn day.  And then some kid comes and stomps on it!  Sometimes things just blindside you.

I’m back to the sleep disturbances, not for any good reason, just being cynical.  Because I can’t really do much else, so I indulge for a moment.

I have an online job that I often do at 5am.  This means dragging myself out of bed at 4:45, no matter what time I went to bed the night prior.  But I make sure to leave myself a few days when I can sleep in (which means until 5:30 or 6 - I’ll take what I can get).  How is it, that my children always seem to know which days I can sleep later, and that they unfailingly choose those days to wake up in the wee hours of the morning?

Friday night we had friends over, but I still made it to bed by 11:00.  We had flu shots and soccer on Saturday, but I could have still slept until 6 and had plenty of time to get everyone fed and dressed to make out 8:00 appointment.  MM woke up at 4; she’d lost her blankets and was cold.  Brought her back to bed, tucked her in, prayed for another 2 hours of rest.  No dice.  Gus was there at 5.  He must have figured I should have been working and didn’t want me to oversleep.  Irony is my middle name, I think.

Seriously, Gus was up because of a stuffy nose & cough - can’t fault the little guy for that.  The same cold brought him in for an early morning visit at 3:30 today.  Couldn’t get mad; I had to let him snuggle in bed with us.  When I can’t be mad, I get cynical, just a little, for a brief moment.  Moment over.

I think I will keep him home today.  Perhaps we’ll look out the big windows as we’re sharing a box of tissues for our runny noses, and we’ll find that bright orange leaf on the wind, and maybe we’ll find a few seconds of serenity.  If we’re very, very lucky, no one will stomp on it today.

Thanks to Mo of  Manic Monday for today’s theme!

image from clkr.com

Yesterday, after an hour break from getting flu shots, Gus started on his first sports team.  We showed up early to meet the coach and get his Gus’s uniform.  I felt so bad for him wearing shorts when it was only about 40 degrees outside.  It warmed up quickly, thankfully.  His uniform is red with black shorts - he looked adorable and it was very evident how good he felt about himself.

The way this special needs program works is that older kids in the soccer club volunteer a Saturday to work with the special needs group, which includes individuals of all ages.  Each player gets a mentor to shadow him (or her) throughout the practice.  This was a relief because I was worried about how they’d keep Gus on the right field.

Gus’s mentor was named T. who proved to be a very nice and patient kid.  It was a sort of practice and game at the same time.  The more experienced special needs players go to one field where they (with their mentors) play an actual game.  The less experienced players go with the coach to learn specific skills interspersed with short game-like conditions.

The mentors were very impressive in their interactions with the team, and I saw a great deal of respect and patience at this practice from everyone involved, which really put me at ease.  We’ve had experiences when someone said they could work with an autistic child and they really had no clue.  But yesterday, even when one little boy kept taking his socks off (sensory defensiveness?) no one got ruffled.  I think we’ve found a good environment for Gus.  He wandered away from their field a few times and sat on the ball to rest a couple of times, but T. was great about gently getting him back on task.

Admittedly, I was a little skeptical about how Gus would do.  His ball skills have always been very weak, but he’s also very good on his feet, so I thought he had a good shot at picking up the game.  He did fantastic!  He was able to dribble the ball almost from the beginning and I noticed that they were teaching him a little bit about passing when the other team is in your way.  The coach taught him a little fake-out move and by the end of the practice, he was remembering half of it, more importantly, he was remembering to use it, even if it wasn’t mastered yet.  I’m glad he got on the field and stayed there the whole time.  It was a big success.

One thing that surprised me: he didn’t run as much as I expected.  At home he is constantly zipping through the house, but he was sort of strolling along with the ball.  He’s got a cold, so he may have just been feeling tired from that - we’ll have to wait and see.  I was also pleasantly surprised to see him score a few goals when they practiced goal kicking.

His strategy was funny.  There would be about 10 kids all trying to make goals past 3 goal keepers.  So he would wait until there was a bit of a jam, casually stroll around to the side of the net and then sort of ease the ball in when the keepers were occupied.  He’s always had that sneaky streak (he used to plot to run off as early as age 2) and I think it will serve him well here.

After the game, we went to buy cleats, a ball, and an extra pair of shin guards (of course I bought the wrong size, so I’ll be making a trip back next week).  The team will play until around November and then break until the spring.  So you can look forward to me being a soccer-mom at least until then!

Posting twice today because this is so important.  Borrowed from Celebrity Today!

We took the kids for flu shots this morning.  I tend to not comment much on the vaccine/anti-vaccine debate within the autism community because it’s no longer an issue for me.  Vaccines did not make my son autistic.  Period.  So we vaccinate our kids and they get flu shots every year, as do we. Not that it should really matter since it’s been shown that mercury does not cause autism, but our pediatrician only uses mercury free vaccines in case anyone decides to question my parental judgement.

Anyway, this morning’s shots were particularly funny.  MM went first, and I have to say she is one of the strongest kids - and I mean her character as well as physically - that I have ever come across.  She had to get blood drawn yesterday and then get poked again first thing this morning.  She didn’t even flinch.  She said, “ouch.” That was it.  No crying, no drama.  I told her she rocks, because she really does.

Then it was Gus’s turn.  Now, he’s been pleading not to get the shot since last night.  When his turn came around, he told the nurse, “Can’t we wait until flu season?”

“It is flu season.”

“Wait, I have to go.  I forgot something.”  The funniest thing to come out of his mouth was, “I have to go!  I have a job!  I’m very busy!”

Even amid all the wrestling we had to do to keep him in the room, that one cracked me up.

As he gets older, he’s obviously getting stronger, but that gets lost on me until I actually have to keep a grip on his wriggling little form.  Wow, that kid is skinny as a french cut string bean, but he is strong!  And of course, the struggling at that point had more to do with not wanting to be restrained and less to do with the shot.  As a matter of fact, he didn’t even flinch when he finally got the shot, almost didn’t even notice.  And then, completely deadpan, “I was very brave.”

Yes you were, dude.  You certainly were.

Remember to get your flu shot, and check back tomorrow to find out about Gus’s first soccer game!

I just came back from a school trip to an apple orchard with MM and that has inspired some gratitude in me today.

1. I am thankful for living in the Northeast where the change of seasons is always breathtaking.  Gus usually gets at least one apple picking trip in,which I’m really looking forward to and I’m sure he is too.  Last year he was fascinated with Cortland, Empire and Rome apples.  MM was invested in finding Golden Delicious andEmpires.  Tomorrow we’ll be making apple pie, of course.

2. I am thankful that my family instilled a real passion for learning from the time I was a child.  It makes class trips so much fun!  I mean, even when I learn things that seem like meaningless facts, they’re still interesting to know.   Today I learned how apple pickers get the apples out of their buckets without bruising them. (There’s a sort of chute at the bottom that gets held closed with 2 ropes.) And I also learned that for every day an apple sits unrefrigerated (like in a fruit basket) it ages about a week.  That is pretty useful information.

3. I am thankful that my kids are as invested in learning as my husband and I are.  It’s awesome to hear some of the questions they come up with and to see that spark of excitement when they discover something new.  That spark was always the best part of teaching for me, and it’s probably the thing I miss the most.  So I’m glad that I’m fortunate to see it at home.

Please, feel free to comment and share your thankfulness below!

Now that we’re well into autumn, here are a few things that could be fun to try with your special needs child:

Apples and pumpkins are in season!  Take a trip to an orchard if one is accessible to you.  Then, after the fun of picking fruit, you might be able to use that sense of accomplishment to entice your sensory defensive child to touch…pumpkin guts!  Eww!  Seriously, if your child has tactile sensory issues, touching something gross that he/she actually picked and worked to obtain might help get past the hump.  If not, it’s okay, you do the scooping then use one of those carving kits to work with the outside of the pumpkin.  Poking holes around an outline can be great for fine motor skills.  I’d avoid the sharp instruments, though.  If carving is still not an option, how about painting faces on little pumpkins?  That could be appropriate for children who have trouble differentiating emotions.  Let’s not forget about the apples!  How about making an apple pie with a homemade pie crust?  For a child who can tolerate the sensation and needs to strengthen fine motor muscles, kneading dough is fun and the end result is delicious.  Cooking is also an essential life skill.

Autumn is also a nice time for outdoor sports like cycling, hiking, or running.It’s neither too hot nor too cold, and in many places, the scenery is pretty breathtaking.  If you’re in an environment where the seasons don’t change, you can still enjoy being outdoors.

Finally, one of our favorite Halloween season movies is Spookley the Square Pumpkin.  The first time we watched it, I noticed that Gus became very quiet and serious.  It’s about a pumpkin that is different and is shunned by most of the inhabitants of his farm.  He has a hard time fitting in, but in the end he finds acceptance.  It’s a sweet movie with a nice message (in my opinion) for typical and special needs kids alike.

Is there something special you do with your kids during the month of October?

image from ALA website

Every year during the last week of September, the American Library Association celebrates Banned Books Week.  We all have the right to choose what we read, and I certainly want my son to have that freedom as his reading skills develop.

Books are challenged - proposed for banning - for several reasons, but some of the most common have to do with content that could be construed as offensive.  I find this ridiculous.  The world is an imperfect place, and there are things in it that are less than pretty.  There is violence and sex (which is not in itself something I would consider problematic) and foul language interspersed among the more beautiful aspects of human existence.  While I may shield my children from some of these things, at some point, they should be exposed to them.  They should be able to ask questions and look at those things critically.

Gus is an avid reader.  Gus will probably have to deal with ugliness in his lifetime: discrimination, possibly bullying, heck, as much as I don’t want to think about it, sex will be an issue at some point.  Should I put him in a bubble so that when he is confronted with confusing situations he’s completely shocked by them?  Or should I let him experience them in a safer way when we can then deconstruct them together?

For kids on the spectrum, things like social stories have been regularly used to illustrate behavior in a wide range of social situations.  This shows that reading and processing that information can be helpful in helping them understand how the world works before being confronted by situations.  I think for many kids, on and off the autism spectrum, some of the books, classics of literature, that have been consistently challenged can offer great value.

The Junie B. Jones series is #74 on the list of the Top 100 Challenged Books of this Century .  I think we’ll break out Boo! And I Mean It and re-read it this week in celebration of the freedom to read.

Image and meme from Manic Monday

Aw nuts! Just when I thought I was safe, he was up again!  This time he got up twice!  That’s what I get for rejoicing that I would have several days of not having to get up for work at 4:45 am.  That’s what I get for speaking too soon.

Aw nuts!  Just when I thought I might be able to let him eat cheese, he has a totally unfocused, hyperactive weekend filled with running off and all manner of chaotic behavior.  Was it the cheese or the weather or the moon conjunct Mercury in the 11th house?  Who knows?  But cheese is back on the banned list.

Aw nuts!  Just when I can put him in soccer he decides he wants to play football.  And really, is there any nice way to tell him that if he thinks I’m letting him play football, he’s nuts?  And double nuts, now his sister suddenly seems to think she doesn’t want to play soccer either.

Aw nuts!  I thought I could get out of making our costumes for the Halloween/birthday party this weekend, but I’ve been talked back into it. Let’s hope Pikachu’s tail survives and that Ash’s Pokeball doesn’t get lost.  I think I’ll wear a hat instead of the pink Team Rocket wig.  And that means getting all my deadlines met early so I actually have time to do this.  No pressure.

Four aw nuts! moments and it’s only Monday morning.  Have you have any aw nuts! moments today?

AP Photo by Charles Dharapak - notice how McCain Still refuses to look at Obama!

My decision was not swayed after watching last night’s debate, but I gained a bit of insight into John McCain that was a bit disturbing.  I am even more concerned than ever about that man getting into the top office of this country for two reasons.

Although the debate was supposed to be about foreign policy, there was no way to avoid at least some discussion of our domestic economy.  When pressed on the issue of what would have to be foregone from his plans in light of the proposed bailout, John McCain’s response was that there should be a freeze on spending except for veterans, the military, and institutions like Medicare.  No mention whatsoever about people with special needs or children or pretty much anyone else in the country in need of support.  One reason this bothers me is that his running mate vowed to make families of people with special needs a priority.  Did McCain not get her memo?

I look at his reaction as having one of two causes.  Either it was an emotional reaction and he didn’t really mean it as drastically as he made it sound, or he totally meant it and never intended to support individuals with special needs in the first place.  Whichever way you look at it, it’s a problem.

Let’s say he was just experiencing a knee-jerk moment - it happens to the best of us under pressure, right?  That doesn’t make it the best way to deal with a situation.  His blanket spending freeze would be akin to me saying to my family, “Okay, we’re spending too much in this house, so going forward, that’s it - no more spending!”

“But Mommy, what about food?”

“Start rationing out those hot dogs and suck it up!”

Not the most practical solution.  And while it’s a big enough mistake for me to have those kids of periodic emotional overreactions with my family, it’s way worse for the leader of a country to not be able to hold himself in check, take a breath, and make a more rational decision.

Now suppose he wasn’t being emotional and overreacting.  I’m not sure if IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) funding falls into the same category as Medicare.  If not, without that funding, it will be even harder to get services for our special needs children than it already is.  That’s not looking out for special needs.  That’s kicking us right in the butt.  Clearly this is not an issue of particular value to him.

My other major concern about McCain’s performance last night was the fact that he didn’t look at Senator Obama once during the entire 90 minutes.  As anyone with a child with autism knows, lack of eye contact is one of the first markers in diagnosing the condition, so I know a bit about it after seven years.  Not only did he refuse to make eye contact, he wouldn’t even look in Obama’s direction.  His body language was rude, juvenile, dismissive, angry, and completely inappropriate for someone wanting to lead a nation.   My five year old refuses to look at someone when she’s angry at them.  I would not put her in the president’s office to deal with foreign leaders.  If he can’t bring himself to look at his opponent during a debate, how the heck is he going to conduct himself with other world leaders?  I read a great post the other day about eye contact in public speaking at the Communication Exchange .  I’m curious to see how Patricia reacts to the debate.

So, I am now convinced more than ever that if McCain is elected, support for individuals with special needs is going to dry up despite a promise to the contrary, and the security of the country is going to be even shakier than ever.  But that’s just me.  Maybe I just don’t really understand, like McCain repeatedly tried to convince us Obama doesn’t.  I think McCain’s the one who lacks understanding.  Your thoughts?

As I was randomly looking netsurfing for something to blog about today, I came across an interesting site: Retrain the Brain .  I’m always on the lookout for ways to help Gus build his focus without medication so the headline “Get Kids Off Ritalin” caught my eye.  The theory behind this program is to teach Palmer method penmanship (remember that??) along with special music to develop the left (analytical/reasoning/executive function) brain.  It seems to make sense to me, but I don’t have $90 to spend on a handwriting program.

So I went and did some research on the Palmer method and found a free version of Palmer’s Penmanship Budget .  We’ve also been trying having Gus do his work with headphones on and his teacher sent home a copy of the CD they use in class.  I think another experiment is on order.

Best case scenario,  the combination of music and handwriting practice will help him.  Worst case scenario, he’ll get some extra practice in an area he needs it.  Nothing to lose.

If anyone has any experience with this theory or with that particular program, I’d love to hear more!